Tulyata

When it comes to mental health, everything is up for discussion. Everyone has a different way of handling their highs and lows but the first thing I would want you to know is that there is help out there. No matter how complex your ill health, or how simple your problems, there is someone out there that can help you. A trained, experienced professional is waiting to walk you out of the maze you’re mired in.

The best part about seeking help is that if you don’t really need it, the first thing the mental health professional will do is to let you know and gently kick you out of the session. I like this attitude for a number of reasons, the first being that I want to know whether or not I’m meant to handle my latest low on my own or not. The second is that I don’t have money and time to burn on avenues that are not going to yield dividends. I don’t think anyone has that kind of resources in today’s day and age.

The third reason I like being kicked out of a mental health program is that I want to know how I should warn my near and dear. If it’s something I have to work out on my own, then there is no need to even let my chosen family in, unless I want to. If I’m to invest time and money into a program, then I might need my fam to extend some grace to me while I put myself back together and cheer me on as I come back healthier, more mentally robust and less burdened.

If despite your best efforts you still require help, grab it with both hands while you are able to afford it, access it and leverage it. My own journey began with online sessions with a therapist in India, followed by in person therapy in New York. Both played their roles as I tried to understand how my lifestyle choices were impacting my mental health, just like they did my physical health. The facet to the whole ordeal, and it was an ordeal finding the right help, in part because I knew nothing about the American health system, that I remember the most is the relief I felt when the tools I was taught there started to help me unwind and relax bit by bit.

It took me 6 months to see enough results that I wanted to imbibe the coping mechanisms and self care rituals into my arsenal of tools permanently. I kept thinking of the way I treated myself before and after therapy, because just talking about and introspecting on how I can take good care of myself made me look at all the ways people in my chosen family both hurt themselves and took care of themselves. Somehow, examining others without judgement was easier than looking at myself the same way at that time, I was that lost.

Once my mind stopped hurting, meaning I in essence stopped doing things that hurt me, like push myself to extremes to pay of my student debt, I was able to breathe more freely and open up and look at the facets to myself that I had put away until Trump went away or the US bounced back from its latest attitude towards immigrants. That turned out to be the point where I pivoted sharply towards only and only being mentally healthy in addition to taking care of myself physically – nothing was worth this kind of trauma.

I eventually moved back to India, voluntarily. Till date, I think that was one of the most impactful, empowering and wise decisions I have ever made in my young life. It also made me see how many things I had to do in my life. I knew I wanted to find a life partner, have kids, scale peaks in my career, give back to society and just live – eat, travel, find connection with God, or Gods in my case, learn, teach, dance, the list goes on.

I think putting in the work to heal yourself when you’re hurt as well as make yourself stronger when you become self aware is the best investment of time and effort that anyone can make. I also hope your awareness of yourself comes to you much before you need be in a mental health practitioner’s office, but no matter how you come across your Self, it will be worth all the effort the preceded it as well as all the effort that will follow it.

Until we meet next, take good care of yourself.