Tulyata

Most teenagers, adults and seniors struggle with some form of low mental health today. Lows could come and go, or be a steady companion, painting everything in their colours. For those that struggle with deep-seated conditions or illnesses, it can be hard to even imagine what being well would look and feel like. But the one thing I want you to know is – there is help no matter how tough things are now, and tomorrow can be better than today.

Like most folks, I have mental health journey too. I struggled with depression and my first diagnosis came towards the end of 2019. I had been feeling markedly low for spells for a year prior. I had just moved to NYC and I thought maybe a slower pace and better housing, preferably with more light than was available in my tiny NYC apartment, would do the trick for me, so I moved to Newport, Jersey City. I also tried to spend more money and gather more things in the hope that shopping and owning nice things would buoy my moods. They didn’t.

In 2019, I started seeing a therapist, as prescribed by a psychiatrist. Finding the right person for you, who will be tough but compassionate, takes time and quite some searching. We can always hope that, in the future, this part of the healing process will be easier with more research and studies and time, money and effort being sunk into treating and maintaining mental health, but at the moment it’s a challenge most people face.

I needed someone who could understand my Indian upbringing and the challenges I faced as someone on a work visa living in the US. That itself narrowed down the options, but at the end I lucked out. There was more to this process, but that’s a story for another time.

Since then, I’ve moved back to India, quite happily I’d like to add, been put on the right medication, set up with a psychiatrist who knows his stuff, and recently, started with a life coach to put myself back together again. And life is now remarkably different. I can’t say for how long I’ve had poor mental health, but I do know I’m in the recovery and rebuilding phase, and having a passion project like this blog is one of the perks of hanging on to the process until I’ve gotten better.

I now work in a startup, where things move fast all the time, but all supervisors so far have been great and I’ve built great working equations with my colleagues. I credit good luck, the universe’s blessings, driven coworkers and leadership, and being given a many, many chances to do better. I’ve come so far, had so much help, been supported by my chosen family and started rebuilding my life. And a large part of rebuilding my life has been figuring out where I need to invest my energy so I feel fulfilled and engaged.

Realising that I have strengths, and that I should play to them so that the work itself is a reward, has been keeping me afloat these past few weeks. I’m sharing my story in part because it might help someone else, but mostly as a note to myself to remember that not all tough parts of the journey were boring – some were quite adventurous and uplifting.